Doom! (Explained.)

Here are the current threat levels represented in the Doom-o-meter, from least to most threatening, with explanations.

Rainbows and Unicorns
All is well in the world. In fact, everything is so peachy that the world is starting to resemble a Lisa Frank notebook cover…which is sort of chilling in its own way, when you think about it.

Puppies and Kittens Living Together
Mild chaos, but still too cute to be considered threatening.

Slightly Unsettling, But Not Too Alarming
The whole situation is just “fair to middling,” as my father would say. Hope and Doom are pretty much at balance.

Human Flesh Tastes Like Spam
Like a random comment that raises suspicion in an otherwise unremarkable conversation, small events indicate that the greater situation is starting to go bad.

Rumors and Rumors of Rumors
Nothing worse than a few minor disasters of Biblical proportion, and they all seem sort of distant and unconnected to you.

Beware of Bears and Perverts
Inspired by a Japanese sign, this is a sure sign of escalating Doom. Everything seems to have a shiny veneer of menace, and we must be on guard.

I Told You So
You can no longer deny that doom is getting close and personal.

Zombie Attack Imminent
Barricade the windows and doors, and be sure to kill the bitten before they turn.

A Hindenburg on Every Corner
Large scale doom is ubiquitous.

The Elder Gods Return
There is nothing left to do but pray that you will be eaten first.

This scale is subject to change and clarification as needed. Updates will be posted here. (Last updated 30 September 2009.)